Master Cracks the Whip, Useful Dog Does the Trick

The Typical Idiot Internet Hindu – I

PEOPLE mostly remember 2014 for the year when a true Nationalist Hindu – Shri Narendra Modi, ascended to the Prime Ministerial post. But one should not lose track of the fact that 2014 Lok Sabha election was perhaps the first election in which the power of the Internet Hindus was conclusively acknowledged. For the first time ever Hindus voted ‘en masse’ and registered their support for development and Hindu interests; thus perhaps for the first time ever started the need to appease the Hindu voters by those who newly found out their ‘janeu-dharu’ (yes ‘dharu’ not ‘dhari’) heritage. Hence, it became obvious – even to ‘pappu’ – of the expediency to start thinking of Hindus. And all this largely because of the unprecedented force of the ‘Internet Hindus’. But of course, one talks here of the actual ‘intellectual kshatriya’ among the internet Hindus (as coined by Shri Rajiv Malhotra) and not the ‘know-it-all’ Idiot Internet Hindu which do more damage to the Hindu cause than perhaps the ‘Jholachaps,’ ‘Lal-salam gang,’ ‘Bindi Brigade’ and ‘Bhai-log’ taken together at their venomous best.

Now one may inquire as to what is an Idiot Internet Hindu? To answer the question – one would have to understand what all avatars they take to fool us. The typical Idiot Internet Hindu comes in two dazzling variants – Useful Idiot, and Self-proclaimed ‘Virat Hindu’. Author in this article shall endeavor to only lay bare the category of useful idiot and leave the second category for a subsequent article.

(Source: NPR)

As for the ‘useful idiot’ term – those familiar with the Left and Vladimir Lenin will know what ‘useful idiot’ connotes. Typically it is said to have been coined by Lenin to denote the lamebrains in Western nations who would, without knowing the true nature of Communism, support it. But history is more or less vague on that aspect. Nonetheless, whatever connotations it may have had or whosoever may have originally come up with it, it is now used to describe ‘a Leftist dunce who does not realize he is a leftist dunce’, or simply supports the Leftist notions without even fully comprehending it. Ingrained in their psyche is an inferiority complex of such magnitude that they end up being despicable, self-loathing people who spare no opportunity to ridicule and denigrate their own roots, heritage, culture and religion.


(Source: NPR)

As for who the useful idiots are: These are the irredeemably brainwashed minions of the communist movement who cover up for terrorists and cry for their human rights. They blindly swallow and spew whatever the Leftist propagandists publish through their fake news mediums. These are the idiots you see participating in rallies and candle marches supporting Afzal Guru. These are the idiots who do all in their power to portray Yasin Malik as a noble angel of God (The One True God mind you, not any inferior god!) sent down to guide us lower mortals. These are the idiots who for their desire to be Politically Correct abuse their motherland and dishonor the legends of their fathers. These are the idiots who in their moments

(Source: The Federalist Papers)

of yearnings, remember and pay homage to their hero ‘Osama ji’. These are the idiots who have the audacity to attach to themselves –quite casually so– titles such as intellectual, writer, historian, commentator; their qualification attested by their own word. These are the idiots who typically are seen being or acting to be more western than westerners themselves. These are the idiots who ask you for arguments to prove them wrong instead of giving arguments to prove themselves correct. Most and especially – these are the idiots who when ousted or trumped, resort to name-calling, abusing and at times crying (everyone has met this type of useful idiot for sure at least once in their interactions!).

Like their counterparts in west, the Indian useful idiots too are known by several names. And also like the factions in west, the factions here too claim to be distinct in their beliefs and ideology. One may call themselves Liberal but may

(Source: Pinterest)

or may not agree with the Progressive, and the Progressive in turn may not agree with the Democrat, and none may agree with the Communist, so on and so forth. Author here hopes that you appreciated the humorous exposition of the useful idiots for he clearly does not. As it is said, that if it barks like a dog; wags it tail like a dog; then it is a dog no matter what breed. And the telling characteristics in case of the idiot under discussion are – (s)he calls for a world without borders; or asks for all men to abandon their personal identity and status and come towards one united identity and status; or insists on making a case of a class struggle or gender discrimination for every situation; or asks for dissolution of private wealth; or asks for and supports a totalitarian government (to overthrow a government (s)he accuses of being totalitarian) which endorses any of the abovementioned wishes; then the creature is a Leftist notwithstanding the nuances of nomenclature.

Initially it appeared that the type is limited to the affluent and upper middle class sections of Hindus, however now they seem to have diffused everywhere. One could speculate as to what may have implanted and perpetuated this inferiority complex of these unrooted Hindus.

Perhaps it was the foreign education system further bolstered by school textbooks, which have chapters on Delhi Sultanate, Mughal Kings and caste discrimination in India, but mere sentences on the topics and figures that would instil pride in Hindus for their ancestry – such as Raja Bhoj, Rana Sanga, Vijaynagar Empire, etc. Years of such systematic assault through the education system on young minds has resultantly reduced a once proud ancient race to pathetic, apologetic beings bereft of intellectual vigour and genuine learning.

Perhaps it was the awarding of special preferential status in our Constitution to certain sections of society, for whatever reasons, following on the class struggle theory propounded by Karl Marx in his monumental treatise ‘Das Kapital,’ which institutionally entrenched Communism in India.


(Source: Reclaim Our Republic)

Perhaps it was simply the act of aping the westerners; one in which Indians seem to be extremely proficient – as would be evident from our history of fools not anchored in the traditions and philosophy of their land, getting educated in England, gorging on whatever latest was making the rounds at the relevant time, thereafter returning to India only to regurgitate those and give it the name of constitutional amendments. One may see the reference to the 42nd Amendment of the Preamble of the Indian Constitution, whereby the phrase “sovereign democratic republic” was mutated to a “sovereign, socialist secular democratic republic”.

In conclusion – author simply yet humbly prays, to ensure that in the Indian Democracy, let never that day come, when two idiots outvote a sane man.

Read the next section of this series here

Cover Picture:
 (Source: American Liberal Review)


Author: Gaurav Chaubey, a full-time ‘Bharatiya’ who just happens to have a specialized practice in Criminal Defence Law

Published: July 24, 2018


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